Who is more uncomfortable being naked-men or women?

[Arthur]

This is a question that came up on another board (CFNM Village) one of my stories when someone commented that most of my stories were more softcore and how often the character would embrace their own nudity but it did get me thinking of something I think about very often, and that is who is more embarrassed being naked, particularly being naked while others are dressed, men or women such as in a CMNF or CFNM situation?

I think the case can be made for both but here I am going to examine the two positions and their relative strength and weaknesses.

I think conventionally in society there is more of an attitude of seeing male nudity is humorous and seeing men as sort of more the exhibitionist of the sexes, with women being generally raised to be more modest and also women having a lot more body shame in general, which I think makes a lot of women more uncomfortable with their own bodies and more judgmental about their own bodies, often comparing their bodies to other women and wondering about how attractive they are. So in that regard I think that women have it tough as far as body image goes and being comfortable being naked in their own skin. And that’s not even getting into the shaming of female sexuality in general.

But then to flip it on the other side I was thinking it is precisely for that reason that women would probably be more comfortable being naked in front of men who are dressed or not dressed or otherwise than men would be about being naked in front of women. Simply put because women are constantly sexualized and objectified from a young age they develop thicker skins about it and they are more used to being seen as sex objects. You see a lot more women becoming strippers than men and I think that a woman if she is confident in her appearance can be much more arrogant and confident being naked. So I think that a woman would be more likely to get used to being naked or sexually objectified than a man. A woman confident in her sexuality is perhaps one of the most powerful and intimidating people around.

Consider the possibility of a man being naked. Here in society men are supposed to be seen as the strong dominating ones, to be strong and in control and to have layers of armor. Clothing is one of the strongest forms of armor. That is why you could often see men in positions of power wearing suits that cover their entire bodies and going to strip clubs where scantily clad women will dance naked for them and they feel confident being in a position of power. A female stripper is seen as cool, exciting, a male stripper more often seen as diminished in the eyes of his peers.

What I think that men are not used to overwhelmingly is being in a position of submission, particularly in being in a submission position before women and I think that’s precisely what happens in CFNM and why it’s such a powerful situation. Rarely is a man seen as vulnerable and exposed and sexualized by the opposite sex in the way that a man would look at a woman. I think that a man being subjected to the female gaze it is something that is much more difficult for him to take them for a woman to take being subjected to a man’s gaze, whether naked or otherwise. When a man is stripped of his clothing he is stripped of his power and this puts him in a really awkward and embarrassing situation. It is often said that a woman’s greatest fear is that a man will kill her while a man’s greatest fear is that a woman will laugh at him. I think that is precisely why CFNM would be so intimidating (from a man’s perspective), because that is a situation in which his naked form would be put up for ridicule before women. Even if they are attracted to his body the women are still the ones holding all of the power and he is in the position of subordination to them. It is somewhat of an emasculating position to be in and it’s probably an uncomfortable position for most men to be in unless they are naturally submissive, and as a naturally submissive man I can say I’d still find it EXTREMELY uncomfortable!

I can say that speaking personally as a very shy individual that I know that if I were in a CFNM situation if I ever were to lucky enough to be living my fantasy, I certainly would not be feeling powerful about it, I would feel like an ant under a magnifying glass! I could never picture myself being confident while I was naked in front of a bunch of dressed women. Hell even with a naked woman I think that if we were mutually naked she would probably still be holding all the cards. Honestly even if I was dressed and she was naked I would be the one feeling kind of awkward! So again maybe I’m projecting my own feelings onto people in general here, but to me if a woman is comfortable in her own skin that is one powerful woman!

But the simple matter is that I feel when it comes down to it a woman can take being naked in front of a man a lot more easily than a man can take being naked in front of women. That is something that I emphasize in a lot of my stories. I feel that when it comes down to it women will ultimately be more able to deal with the embarrassment and the vulnerability of being exposed and be able to blow it off more easily. Men are not used to being seen as an assortment of body parts there for the consumption of the female gaze, to be sized up and judged as sexual beings.

Even the title of my own CFNM novella, You’ll Get Used To It: My Month of CFNM, reflects my belief that being naked in front of women is something that men are simply not used you and will have a hard time getting used to. But women, they are already used to it because that’s the world they grew up in. For men it’s a new experience and I think that for most men it’s rather frightening. It may be exciting, but I am sure that most men if they were naked in front of a group of dressed women would probably have a harder time handling it then a naked woman would in front of a group of men.

So what does everyone here think, who is more easily embarrassed being naked in front of the opposite sex especially when they are dressed? Men or women. Here’s a thought experiment that you can do. Picture a member of the opposite sex that you are respect and admire or just a casual acquaintance. So men think about a female friend of yours and how she would feel being seen naked by your male friends and how she would react to that situation, and then think how would you react if you were seen naked by her female friends. Like if you two were to flip a coin and the loser had to get naked, which of you would be more frightened? I think that if you give it some honest thought you will probably think that you would probably have a harder time being seen naked by her friends and she would by yours! I haven’t really discussed this with my friends before but I do feel most of the women I know if I saw them naked would blow it off, but if they saw me naked I’d never be able to look at them without thinking about it.

In fact here’s one last observation to consider. Consider men in a strip club and the way they behave. Sure men can be rowdy in a strip club but I think that most of them will sit there mesmerized looking at the stripper, completely fixated on her, her basically holding their attention and keeping them subdued. Now you see women going to a strip club with male strippers and how out-of-control they can get. I think that this just shows everything. When it comes down to it when women are in the position of power they are much more excited than I think men are. So once again a woman who is confident being sexual, she is a lot more confident than a man who is confident being sexual. Men are used to holding the power, so when they are not in that position of power that is why it is all the more terrifying to see the cards finally flipped. So fellas if you find yourself naked and the women holding the cards, watch out! Confident female sexuality can be frightening, but oh so wonderful and exciting.

Charles VA, Don Smith and Ed like this

[Ed]

Some great arguments there, for both sides. I don’t think I can add much as you’ve gone into more detail than I’ve ever considered previously. I suspect this one should have had a poll attached.

Charles VA likes this

[Arthur]

“Some great arguments there, for both sides. I don’t think I can add much as you’ve gone into more detail than I’ve ever considered previously. I suspect this one should have had a poll attached.”

How do you add a poll?

[Ed]

It’s a tick box between the main text box and the submit button on the first post in a topic. You can’t add them to subsequent replies.

[Arthur]

“It’s a tick box between the main text box and the submit button on the first post in a topic. You can’t add them to subsequent replies.”

OK I’ll remember that for the future.

[Anonymous]

Maybe a poll would be too simple though. Arthur has carefully thought about a range of issues and I don’t know how you’d meaningfully capture that in a poll. I have a number of thoughts, but they’re a bit disconnected.

• I agree there’s a lot of power in clothes and a lot of submissiveness in being the only one naked. Power gets abused.
• On the other hand, female strippers who I’ve seen interviewed relish the power they have over the audience
• I’ve only known one man who ever joked about getting naked, and that was about everyone in the group getting naked for some reason. The men looked at him blankly, the women laughed. I’ve known probably about three women who have joked about themselves getting naked individually, one wanting to dance in a hailstorm, one very drunk at a party (you’ll be glad to hear we wouldn’t let her strip!), and one thinking she might do a naked calendar.
• Thinking of naked calendars, they do seem to be mainly women although there’s one coming out soon from near where I live that is a mixed group.

===Added later===

• I’ve just remembered another occasion where the women seemed comfortable talking about flashing (ok, not complete nakedness). My wife used to be a school teacher and we went to an end-of-term staff party. It was one of the men’s birthdays and one of the women decided someone should show him her breasts as a birthday present. They started debating who it should be. Unfortunately, my wife said it was time to leave so I never did find out what happened!

Don Smith likes this

[Arthur]

These are good points as well. But I think it comes down to it as I think that men are much more stoic and reserved and unemotional about most types of things so the idea of letting loose and getting naked is something that most men probably would not go for. I think that women are much more relaxed in regards to things like nudity and are just more likely to laugh and have fun with something like that. So I think that in a lot of ways women are less uptight in general.

That is why I really enjoy female laughter especially. It’s just nice to see women let loose and be able to enjoy it. So I do think that in a situation where a man was naked and the women were dressed that the women would be able to have a good laugh at it with that the man would probably feel decidedly uncomfortable letting loose and being vulnerable like that.

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[Ed]

@profgreen From what I’ve heard, naked charity calendars sell (which is the obvious aim) MUCH better when women are naked in them. Calendars with just naked men sell well within the club or organisation, but those with female nudity can sell in their thousands online.

[Arthur]

“@profgreen From what I’ve heard, naked charity calendars sell (which is the obvious aim) MUCH better when women are naked in them. Calendars with just naked men sell well within the club or organisation, but those with female nudity can sell in their thousands online.”

And this is an interesting point relative to what I brought up about male versus female nudity. It shows that society is obviously much more desiring of female nudity and much more comfortable with female nudity but whether that translates into women feeling more comfortable being naked is hard to determine. It could have the opposite effect of making women feel more self-conscious about their body seeing as there is so much female sexual objectification.

But on the other hand I do feel that on some level it goes back to my point about what I am saying, women are more used to being seen as sex objects and having their flesh exposed, which I think for men is sort of an uncommon experience, to be seen as sexual objects or to have their naked flesh made a topic of interest. Naked women is the societal norm with things like CFNM being more like kink. Society expects women to be naked, views women more for their bodies than they do men’s bodies. Naked or nearly naked female bodies are displayed much more and women are more likely to pose nude or nearly so, not just for calendars but in all areas of society, not so much the case for men.

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[Charles VA]

Say what you like but it’s been my experience that women are far meaner when presented with a nude body. Female or male. Men will go to a strip club, I used to work in a couple as bouncer and bar tender, and watch every woman who is there, attractive or not. I can say there have been many occasions of less than young and athletic females stripping and making money. Reverse the situation and the “average”, not even ugly, guys would be ridiculed and abused by the females in attendance. Coincidentally probably looking a lot like their husbands.

[Arthur]

“Say what you like but it’s been my experience that women are far meaner when presented with a nude body. Female or male. Men will go to a strip club, I used to work in a couple as bouncer and bar tender, and watch every woman who is there, attractive or not. I can say there have been many occasions of less than young and athletic females stripping and making money. Reverse the situation and the “average”, not even ugly, guys would be ridiculed and abused by the females in attendance. Coincidentally probably looking a lot like their husbands.”

Reminds me of the “shrinkage” episode of Seinfeld where the women saw George naked after being in the pool and he mentioned women were much worse cause they talked about EVERYTHING.

Charles VA and Ed like this

[Don Smith]

Arthur, thanks for the mention of CFNM Village.  I joined the forum over there too.

[Anonymous]

CFNM Village? Hmmm. Grey background. Tiny text. Numerous disclaimers and warnings. I get enough of that at work!

Charles VA and Ed like this

[Author]

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