Rule #2

[Ed]

Guys, can I bring everyone’s attention to community rule #2 once again?

I’m not going to name and shame anyone but the rule is there for a reason, so please don’t break it.

Bamaswitch likes this

[Bamaswitch]

That’s frustrating that you have to say that.

Ed and like this

[Ed]

Oh, tell me about it!

Almost every time a woman arrives on the site and makes her presence know, everyone is sending friend requests, private messages and interacting in every way they can. It doesn’t paint us men in a good light. To be fair, it’s a small minority of men, but it only takes a few men hounding a woman with unwanted attention and they simply don’t come back.

 

I wonder if it would help if I announced that, as admin, I can see all the friend requests?

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[Anonymous]

So, we shouldn’t send friend requests either?

[Ed]

I’ve had female members complain to me in the past that they get bombarded with PMs and friend requests as soon as they join. I’m more worried about PMs than friend requests. Imagine a woman arriving at a party. As soon as she arrives through the door loads of men are greeting her, asking for her phone number so they can text her and buying her drinks. You can say that all those things are well intended and pleasant, but all piled on at once is stifling and potentially scary.

Also, why send anyone a friend request until you’ve interacted with them in the forums for a while first?

[MissJD]

I’m very interested in this rule and just wanted to confirm as a new member that I have appreciated the few friend requests I’ve had. I can’t speak for anyone else of course but I’ve found it quite welcoming. I can definitely see this rule is meant in the right way but personally I’d worry the site was a bit cliquey if nobody said hello.

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[Bamaswitch]

Well, greetings and glad you joined our little group. 🙂

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[Ed]

In my experience, the community isn’t cliquey at all. The loose consensus from female members I’ve spoken to is that public hellos (in the forum) are great, but receiving 10-20 private messages within minutes of joining is a little daunting. Of course, it depends on the messages too. Friend requests are a grey area in comparison but a sudden flood of them could be offputting?

[Anonymous]

@missjd I’m glad and flattered that you accepted my friend request.

 

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[MissJD]

Just to clarify I don’t think the site is cliquey at all and I think I’ve had some lovely introductions. I’m just saying some might worry if they didn’t get any friend requests or anything. I didn’t mean to offend. Again I think the rule is well intentioned.

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[Ed]

No offence taken. We’re all here to share information and opinions, and it’s good to hear new members’ first impressions too.

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[jonny]

Guys , I just read this farcical  post made me laugh.

I know I am new here but to be honest you guys all seem to be hiding behind your name or a caption and full of rules that don’t in my opinion seem to have any freedom to interact with other members here .

WHAT IS THE POINT  of loging in here ? is it interact with like minded people or sit quietly behind your name just to look at aged pictures of girls geting undressed ???

It’s the same people I see when I log in with no interaction or response , that’s why it’s quietly  boring ?

[Gary]

@jonny Rule #2 is to stop  the unwanted/overbearing attention via PM’s by males on the female community members.

There is nothing to stop 2 men having a conversation through PM’s that can be as explicit as both are happy with.  I have been involved in a few and they are far from boring, others are simply discussing ideas and thoughts.

Similarly, it is quite open to women starting a PM conversation and they can also be quite fun – as long as one is mindful that the woman might not want the explicit conversation.

Eric Dom, Bamaswitch, and 1 more person like this

[Ed]

There are just 16 rules for the entire community site. Most online communities I’ve visited have literally pages and pages of rules etc. I’m trying to keep the community friendly, inviting and on topic. When I first opened this incarnation, there were 9 rules, but I have been forced to add a few to limit antisocial behaviour and off-topic postings.

Eric Dom, Gary, Bamaswitch and 1 more person like this

[Bamaswitch]

Most active communities have rules about harassing other members, especially women. I don’t see how that prevents interaction. Is it really so difficult to post a message asking if you contact them privately? Without a BLOCK button, this appears to be the best method to prevent this.

And for the community to flourish, it needs public interaction, not things going on behind the scenes. That is what normally promotes growth. New people coming in and seeing this activity.

That being said, I hope you stay and participate and enjoy the site.

Eric Dom, Ed, Gary and 1 more person like this

[Anonymous]

I don’t experience “no interaction or response”. This discussion here involves Ed, Bamaswitch, TakeAllMyClothes, MissJD, Jonny and Gary, all interacting and responding. When I post, I get anything from zero reaction to a full discussion of whatever the issue happens to be, and that pretty much matches what happens in real life. I say X, people might just look puzzled and move on, or they might have the time and interest for a chat. Either is fine. Regarding “hiding behind your name or a caption”, doesn’t everyone do that all the time? What’s the alternative? Introduce yourself  with a CV, personality profile, and genealogy? I’ll stick with my (accidentally nonexistent) Cluedo character.

Eric Dom, Bamaswitch and Ed like this

[Ed]

Hear! Hear!

Eric Dom and like this

[jonny]

That’s fine with me you being a sheep @profgreen I am not surprised you get  puzzled look with zero reaction when  chatting  ha!  Zzzz… Bleat bleat

 

 

 

[Ed]

I suspect this isn’t the community for you, @jonny. I’m all for a debate etc. but don’t set out to attack other community members. I’ve worked hard to make this an inviting and friendly community. Your comments are not helpful.

and Bamaswitch like this

[Anonymous]

Well, I’ve never been called a sheep before but hopefully I’m more Herdwick than Cotswold.

Is there a stripgame where the “dogs” get to strip any “sheep” they catch?

Unless the “sheep” somehow manage to all roll the same number on some dice, in which case they strip the “dog”.

, Eric Dom and Bamaswitch like this

[Bamaswitch]

Wonderful response, @profgreen! 🙂

and Ed like this

[jonny]

Ha! Deam on cleaudo.. No game which I know about does the dumb sheep win, dog will always win!

if you know what I mean !

Surgest you get on your wellies and go enjoy yourself… Bleat bleat

 

 

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