Is First Time CFNM Different or More Intense?

[Arthur]

I thought that this was a good question as I haven’t heard anyone ask it before. I don’t want to get prematurely excited but I do feel like I have a promising chance of perhaps having my first CFNM experience and I am wondering if the first time is somehow different or more intense than other times, like maybe after a while you get used to it. I am thinking that the first time would probably be more intense simply because it’s not something you are used to and feels especially strange which makes it more intense.

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[Paul]

I guess your intensity will depend how the female reacts to you getting naked. If she shows signs of enjoyment then your intensity will increase and you will need to maintain control.

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[Arthur]

@Paul

“I guess your intensity will depend how the female reacts to you getting naked. If she shows signs of enjoyment then your intensity will increase and you will need to maintain control.”

I think that’s a pretty good point the more she’s enjoying it the more intense the experience will be, particularly if she gets out of control and can’t control herself or really is having a laugh riot. The way I see it the more enthusiastic and crazy they get with it the more intense the experience and the embarrassment and the more intimidating it would be, which of course increases the excitement even further.

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[Anonymous]

I was going to say that my first CFNM has stuck firmly in my mind but I think it’s actually my only time. I was home alone with one of our (very occasional) stripgame group. I’ll call her Sue. We’d just agreed there was nothing on TV, and I caught the expression that quickly crossed her face. I offered to make some coffee but she smiled very broadly and said she’d make it if I took something off. She was probably thinking I’d take a sock off just for a laugh. I suggested a dice game – we each roll two dice, subtract them, strip off that number of clothes, then the most naked one makes the coffee. I wasn’t expecting much, if any, naked skin to appear. We’d played that game in a group before and it’s normally quite a slow strip, especially if you plan ahead and wear a few layers, or you can add an “even numbers” rule to slow things down a bit. (Only strip if the difference is 2 or 4.) I wish we’d used that rule this time!!!

Sue wanted me to roll first of course, and unfortunately I rolled a 1 and a 6 so five things had to come off. My heart was in my mouth! The trouble was, I wasn’t planning to play a stripgame so I wasn’t wearing very much. I was immediately completely naked in front of Sue who was fully dressed. Normally during stripgames we’d pretend to keep ourselves covered with cushions and arms, so although we’d been naked together before, we hadn’t been fully exposed to each other for more than a few seconds. This time, her face was pure mischief. She said I’d lost the game and demanded a forfeit. I was worried that she’d send me outside, but she told me to stand with my hands behind my back as if they were handcuffed, so that she could look at me. I was extremely aroused by this point, which made even more embarrassing. She hadn’t seen me that way before.

My feelings obviously included embarrassment but I also shared the sense of mischief that Sue was completely full of. We were experiencing something very naughty and subversively enjoying it. After a few moments, that felt like an age, she sent me to make the coffee and by the time I came back my erection had subsided. Sue took her turn with the dice. I don’t remember her score but whatever it was she took her top and bra off “to make it fair” and, unlike previous occasions, she didn’t try to hide. We agreed to stay that way for half an hour and then get dressed, which we did, and everything felt quite normal by then.

Looking back, the initial shock when I realised I was going to have to strip completely naked in front of a friend was the scariest part. Standing there while Sue looked at my body (from across the room) wasn’t as bad as I thought, though she must have seen my heart pounding itself out of my chest at first! Spending time later with me still naked and Sue topless was pleasant but almost felt “normal”, certainly compared with the CFNM we had started with. I’ve done the same forfeit since then with several of us in the room in various states of undress and it’s challenging but nowhere near the same buzz.

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[Arthur]

@Prof Green

I have to say that was a really hot account and that is like a perfect CFNM experience and I think that several things probably made it intense. First I think the fact that you totally weren’t expecting it, second is the fact that right away you were completely naked and she was completely dressed, so it was total one-sided inequality. And then there was the fact that she was obviously very enthusiastic about it because she knew she had you at her mercy. To me that’s what I think would make it really intense, how they react is everything, and when they are obviously mischievous just like she was to me that is what makes it really exciting because you can see that she knows that she has you in this uncomfortable awkward position, basically able to do whatever she wants and you are basically stuck there like a deer caught in the headlights and you can see that she is clearly getting a rush off of the entire thing, and that she is highly enjoying herself. I think that that is a very great if not ideal CFNM experience.

If you are just platonic friends though and that was the only time you ever did that I have to imagine it must be somewhat awkward or give a same charged tension feeling when you saw each other after that, because whenever she looked at you she could be picturing you naked!

And I think that maybe when others were doing that in various different stages of undress probably didn’t give you the same buzz because it wasn’t entirely one-sided. In your case it was a case where you are totally stripped right off the bat, she wasn’t stripped at all, and it was just you and her with all of the focus and attention on you, very intimate.

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[Anonymous]

Yes, part of the shared enjoyment for both of us was knowing we were doing something naughty that people don’t normally do but, come to think of it, Sue was entirely in control of the situation and she knew it, so she’d have enjoyed that too.

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[Arthur]

@Prof Green

“Yes, part of the shared enjoyment for both of us was knowing we were doing something naughty that people don’t normally do but, come to think of it, Sue was entirely in control of the situation and she knew it, so she’d have enjoyed that too.”

I think that that is kind of interesting because I think another thing about CFNM is that it is sort of strangely unnatural even though it shouldn’t be. Given that men are always ogling naked women and that women are always getting undressed for men like that, it must be a weird thing for a woman to be standing there completely dressed and have a man stripped naked being able to do whatever the hell she wants with him, and I can’t help but think that that must give her a tingle in the loins and be like wow, this is an interesting novelty what can I do with this?! And I think that that weird curiosity, of a person experiencing that for a first time, is something that is extremely interesting to see.

Like when I think of the ideal CFNM partner I would think it was a woman who maybe hadn’t done it before never had the opportunity and now that she has the opportunity it’s like “hello, I’m going to have some fun with this!”

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[Anonymous]

Yes, the sense that we were misbehaving was definitely a big part of the excitement. I was very obviously and embarrassingly turned on by the situation, and probably Sue was a bit too, but we were very safely “good friends” who could do whatever we liked, so – yes – she’d have known she could push things further if she’d wanted or dared to and that must have been a good feeling. I didn’t realise at the time, and I don’t think any of us did, what a close set of relationships we developed by spending time naked together. Seeing each other naked doesn’t create a relationship, but having a relationship that includes nakedness is a good thing. It’s a shame it’s so unusual, and maybe even still scandalous, but I’m sure that was part of the excitement. In that exciting/subversive way, it’s a bit like being photographed naked in a fairly public place, like a quiet footpath where you’re unlikely to meet anyone but it’s not impossible.

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[Arthur]

@Prof Green

Your story was actually quite fascinating to me and it expired an idea for a story from my blog. I can’t remember if links were allowed in the main but if they aren’t I could send you a link to the story in private. It was a really hot idea honestly.

And you are right there is something extremely subversive about the idea of a man being naked around a dressed female friend, that is something that I think really doesn’t happen and I think that that can create a close bond simply because of the rarity of it. I think that when you are naked you tend to open up more and be more honest and I do think it’s a rare thing for a guy to be exposed naked and vulnerable to a fully dressed woman like that. And I suppose it’s possible to keep things Platonic but I think that that would somehow change the relationship, there would always be sort of that dirty little secret between the two of you. Even if it doesn’t develop into a full-blown sexual relationship there is still sort of that friends with benefits aspect that dirty little secret that she has that she got to see you naked.

And I do think it is exciting when you have a person particularly who probably wasn’t expecting that who suddenly realizes that they are in a unique position to perhaps push the limits of this. To me that is the fascinating part, to see what an average woman would do if she had that opportunity and how far she would take it.

 

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[Anonymous]

One thing I often wonder about when looking at photos or videos of “real life” nakedness is what impact it had on their relationships. The Naked Office TV series (or maybe a one-off) was a slightly artificial but realistic example, but I’ve mentioned before the time I saw a mixed group of friends and/or colleagues playing football topless on the beach. What if I suddenly met a friend topless/nude on the beach on holiday? What if a group of colleagues went on a business trip to somewhere that had meetings in naked saunas? Is “just” being topless fairly neutral compared with full nudity?

With Sue, we knew each other as part of a group that played stripgames now and again, so we all knew what each other looked like naked. Some of us still see each other from time-to-time and have “normal” friendships despite, or because of, the harmless fun we had in the past.

A more recent friend, who unfortunately I will never get to spend naked time with, once told me how exposing it felt to be in the room with her current and former husband. The three of them have managed to become quite good friends, but she finds that aspect of it a bit challenging sometimes. That’s not the same as my own situation, but there are maybe some similarities.

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[Arthur]

@Prof Green

“One thing I often wonder about when looking at photos or videos of “real life” nakedness is what impact it had on their relationships. The Naked Office TV series (or maybe a one-off) was a slightly artificial but realistic example, but I’ve mentioned before the time I saw a mixed group of friends and/or colleagues playing football topless on the beach. What if I suddenly met a friend topless/nude on the beach on holiday? What if a group of colleagues went on a business trip to somewhere that had meetings in naked saunas? Is “just” being topless fairly neutral compared with full nudity?”

I’ve never heard of the naked office TV series but I googled it and it looks like an interesting series. I couldn’t imagine what would be like having lots of coworkers and all going to work naked. Would that be like a teambuilding exercise or wood that just make everything extremely awkward. I feel like it would be hard to concentrate on work if all of your coworkers were naked. A lot of people say when you are regularly naked you get used to it but to me it would still always feel kind of like a weird thing.
I feel it would be kind of weird if I saw casual female acquaintances nude or topless on a beach and I would probably feel very awkward and embarrassed about it particularly if they were attractive and it was getting me aroused is that just makes the situation a lot more awkward. To me topless isn’t as bad as fully naked but it still kind of weird and awkward.
When you talk about real life nakedness I feel that if the situation was mutual nudity that there wouldn’t be as much of an awkward charge to it. But I often think like if I got in a relationship with a woman where she got to see me naked and I didn’t see her naked where she actually had a picture of me naked that she could show to her friends with her dressed it would kind of be exciting to think about but also embarrassing, because it says sort of a thing about the person, look at the dressed person in control of the naked person.

“With Sue, we knew each other as part of a group that played stripgames now and again, so we all knew what each other looked like naked. Some of us still see each other from time-to-time and have “normal” friendships despite, or because of, the harmless fun we had in the past.”

I feel like a different situation if you’ve all played stripped games before and you are comfortable being naked around one another. That to me would be kind of different than if somebody saw me naked one time and I didn’t see her naked and then we had to continue interacting. Every time she looked at me or she smiled at me I would be kind of wondering if she was thinking ha ha I got to see him naked!

“A more recent friend, who unfortunately I will never get to spend naked time with, once told me how exposing it felt to be in the room with her current and former husband. The three of them have managed to become quite good friends, but she finds that aspect of it a bit challenging sometimes. That’s not the same as my own situation, but there are maybe some similarities.”

Yes that would feel rather weird because it’s like they have ended a relationship and yet their current husband and their former husband would know what she looked like naked and it’s almost like they can both look at her and maybe look at each other and be like yeah we know what she’s got underneath her clothing. The thing about somebody seeing you naked once or multiple times is that after that they always know what you look like for basically forever. Once you have been seen naked there’s no taking it back.
Like I think of a similar situation I am thinking let’s say I was with two women who had both seen me naked and I hadn’t seen them naked. They both know that they have seen me naked I can’t help but wonder if they are talking about it or if they are sort of standing there with me between them and thinking or laughing between themselves that they have a dirty little secret that hey they both are picturing me naked and that maybe it creates a bond between them.

But to me the one sided unfair nature of something like CFNM where you get seen naked but she doesn’t I think makes the whole thing more intense because it’s like she always has that little thing over you so to speak, she can always sort of hold it over you that she knows what you look like naked. Somehow that to me is a lot more powerful than mutual nudity.

 

 

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[Anonymous]

“a picture of me naked that she could show to her friends” – there must be a dare or a forfeit in there somewhere!!!

1. The naked loser (X) has their photo taken and shown to a name picked out of a hat?
2. The fully dressed loser has to show a naked photo of X to her friends?

I can’t work out who is really the loser – who would come out worse from that. X for having their naked photo shown around, or their friend having to show anyone a nude photo of X. (It could work well if X was obviously naked but the photo was tastefully shot.)

“they always know what you look like for basically forever”

Well, they knew what you looked like at the time. I’ve sometimes read interviews where women have said that, with hindsight, they’re now pleased they had some nude photos taken when they were young because people think that’s still how they look now.

Long ago, someone started dropping hints that she wanted to draw me naked. Her female flatmate was getting sick of being the model. I stupidly ignored the hints. More recently, I’ve wished I volunteered (or dropped some hints back at her), partly because it would be an experience we could look back on and maybe repeat today, and partly because I’d see what I looked like at the time.

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[Arthur]

That is actually a good point if you have pictures taken when you are not and attractive it would be fun to look back on that like 60 years later. I can imagine a lot of elderly actresses who did nude scenes back when they were young probably look back on those and smile now. Of course it must be awkward if their grandchildren saw that, like my God that was grandma when she was younger!

I have never been drawn naked for an art class but it would be an interesting idea. I have to admit I might have missed subtle hints as well as I am not really good at picking up on social cues. I couldn’t picture anyone really wanting to draw me though, but it would be quite an experience because in order to draw a person you have to get a really good look at them, a really intimate look.

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[Anonymous]

People of any age can be attractive, but appearances obviously change. The changes themselves are interesting.

I discovered recently that the parents of some of my in-laws (large family) used to play some fairly tame stripgames when they got together, particularly at Christmas. We found some photos where they were flashing each other in their underwear so not technically nude but definitely heading that way. It’s strange that the surviving ones are now very old.

I took a jacket to a seamstress once for repairs. She had taken early retirement from a business so must have been late 50s/early 60s. On her wall were large high-quality photos from her younger days as an underwear model. She was very proud of them. It was a bit odd to be in the room with her in her skimpy underwear.

Yes, being drawn would involve being quite closely scrutinised. I never discussed this with my friend’s flatmate (“M” the reluctant model), but my friend (“A” the artist) just told me her friend was sick of being her model. I never saw the drawings but they must have been quite close-up as the rooms in their flat were small. “A” was quite touchy-feely so I can imagine her physically arranging “M”‘s body in the poses “A” wanted, and I can’t imagine that all the poses were tame and discreet. I’m not surprised “M” had had enough. I sent “M” a few family photos a couple of christmases ago (we’re hardly in touch but catch-up every few decades) and she replied to say she avoids having her photo taken these days because she got put off being photographed when she was “A”‘s reluctant model, so it sounds as if she was in lots of naked photos too. I know “A” did her own photo processing so it’s entirely possible.

 

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[Arthur]

I think that photos are difficult thing because once the photos are out there you really can’t take them back. I think that you have to trust a person quite well to allow them to take photos. I kind of like the idea of having CFNM photos say of me naked with a dressed woman but I don’t know if I would be very happy if they were posted around the Internet, especially if my face was showing. There is something about that that’s a little bit awkward.

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[David]

Firsts depends on the situation.

I’d say my first 30 or 40 cfnm moments werent intense or different at all. They were all life modelling in a class and it was work. I didnt even notice they were cfnm.

Different or intense only if there is a mutual attraction.

 

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[Arthur]

@David

I suppose it is true that the situation does matter, an art class would not be as sexually tense or as charged as say a CFNM party with lots of horny women all getting excited rather than people just taking an art class. But I do think that an art class would still be a rather intense experience seeing as people would be intimately looking at your body in order to draw it. An art class like that might be even more intimate than some kind of CFNM party since they are much more closely examining your body and seeing every inch of it so that they can replicate it in their art.

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[Paul]

I agree.. especially if you have your penis on full display.

[Anonymous]

Yes, the situation does matter. I suppose it depends what you mean by CFNM. The time I had to quickly strip naked with a fully-dressed female friend was entirely about having fun – doing something joyful – and even though I looked extremely turned on by the situation, we were playing a game that was almost entirely about curiosity about each other’s bodies, not about sex. Maybe it was a bit like a grown-up game of doctors. Maybe it wasn’t actually grown-up at all, come to think of it. I’ll show you mine if you show me yours.

The time I wish I’d let someone draw me fully naked and (knowing the way she thinks) probably in a very exposing pose, that would have been different. I would definitely have seen it as sexual, whereas she would have seen it as a job. From her point of view, she wanted a model and I’d have been volunteering to help her create her art. From my point of view, I’d be putting myself in a sexually charged situation with her. It was that difference that put me off volunteering, but I wish I had now as I missed out on a good experience. Is that CFNM, though, or is it just modelling for a friend?

If I worked as a model for strangers, either paid or volunteering, I have no doubt I’d simply see it as doing a job even if they turned out to be all women. It might be different if only one woman turned up on the night. A one-on-one nude modelling session does sound quite intense. Maybe that would count as CFNM – it could certainly be a starting point for a CFNM story.

The art club had booked a life drawing session in the church hall with me as the model. It turned out to be a heatwave. It was so hot that I was certain nobody would come to the session, but – just as I was about to leave – someone I recognised walked nervously into the room. We both took our kids to the same yoga group. We’d never spoken before and I hoped she didn’t recognise me. I’d only seen her in tracksuits before but today she was dressed for the height of summer in a short floaty dress that the sun shone right through. She was about to set her easel up in the room but then asked if I’d mind her drawing me outside in the garden area. I knew it wasn’t overlooked very much so nervously agreed. We went outside….

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[Arthur]

@Prof Green

I’m interested in the idea of Platonic casual CFNM but I sometimes wonder if it’s really possible. In all of the situations that you listed I mean there may be some people who wouldn’t see it as necessarily sexual but to me it would definitely feel that way even if the other person didn’t intend it.

The way I see it if you have a dressed woman who is exploring your body out of curiosity and she is a heterosexual woman I don’t see how that could not be seen as sexual, here is a member of the opposite sex intimately examining your body in a very explicit way and having fun and enjoying your sexual characteristics. It is certainly charged and not neutral. In fact given the rarity of a woman being in that position over a man to me makes it even more intensely sexually charged.

Likewise with the nude modeling. Even if it was all about the art to me that would still be in a situation where I was in an extremely submissive position to women who are intimately examining my body and sexual characteristics. And again even if they are professional about it, assuming that they are heterosexual women I don’t see how they could be painting or drawing a completely naked male and not somehow find that sexually charged, and I have definitely written a couple of stories and put a lot of scenes like that in my own stories, so you are right an art situation like that really is an intense situation of CFNM and has a lot of potential for stories. If they would even sign up to draw a naked man you’d have to assume they would enjoy the idea of it.

I know that there are some people who can see nudity as sort of a nonsexual thing, but even if I was in a situation with a woman who didn’t find me attractive or was a lesbian or something like that, maybe she wouldn’t be really getting any sexual charge out of the situation from me being naked, but still to me just the fact that I was naked and she was dressed and that she was getting to see every inch of my body and all of my secondary sex characteristics in an intimate and close up and personal way, I just couldn’t see how that wouldn’t be an intense experience.

Of course attitude does make a huge difference as well. To me CFNM is still CFNM regardless of the situation and reaction, all it requires is a naked man and a dressed woman or women. But attitude does make a huge difference. If I was just posing naked and the women were professional and not saying anything and just going about their art that would be different than if I was up there and they were screaming and whistling and hollering and talking about my body in intimate details and clearly getting off on the rush of having me naked while they get to stay dressed, or actively mocking the fact that I didn’t have clothing, to me that would put the intensity absolutely over the roof and just off the charts.

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[David]

<p style=”text-align: left;”>Platonic cfnm in an art setting is amazingly easy to empathise. Just take your clothes off in your coldest room of your house and try to stand still with one of your arms outstretched for twenty minutes.</p>
 

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[Author]

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