Embarrassed by being naked and loving it?

[Arthur]

This is in response to the other thread asking if you are a naturalist, a nudist or an exhibitionist and I felt like none of those categories really fit me exactly. While I really enjoy the whole idea of getting naked I find that I have many inhibitions and the thought of being naked in front of other people, particularly if they are dressed, it’s extremely embarrassing but I think that I would derive excitement from the thought of being embarrassed, the fact that I am uncomfortable makes the nudity much more intense. I feel like I couldn’t get myself naturally into such situations like that but if I found myself in a situation where I was naked in front of a large group of people or in some type of unexpected situation that it would be enjoyable. Would that necessarily make me an exhibitionist?

To me an exhibitionist is someone who feels really comfortable about their body and enjoys showing it off. I am a person who if I found myself naked in a public situation like that would be struggling to cover myself up and blushing profusely and clearly very very awkward about the situation but at the same time I think that it would be an extremely intense and exciting experience. So I don’t know exactly where that places me and I am wondering if anyone else feel similar?

[Ed]

No, I’ve found there are two distinct sub-categories of exhibitionist. Both like to be seen naked but in different ways.

The more obvious, but less common kind are the confident, happy to be seen naked type. They love to show off, will happily expose themselves and often describe themselves as nudist/naturist. These are the ones that most people know about. Everyone knows someone who ends up naked at parties, leads skinny dipping, streaks or volunteers for dares.

The other kind seems to be more numerous but much less visible. They love to be seen naked or in some way expose themselves but are shy about doing so. They usually will not volunteer to be naked and need a reason or justification to be naked. Being ordered to strip, losing a strip game or even pretending to be hypnotised or blackmailed are ways they give themselves licence to be seen naked. Often they love the intense humiliation of being naked in front of other people, although this is not always the case.

The first kind is a showoff or performer. The second tends to be submissive. Both get a thrill from being seen naked.

 

It would be great to gather proper statistics on this.

[Arthur]

What you said makes sense as the second kind definitely describes me perfectly. I would have thought that the other type about the confident nudist would be more common but I suppose now that I think about it kind of makes sense that the later would be more common. Most people have some type of inhibition surrounding nudity whether they want to or not and even if they have a desire to be seen naked would not willingly get naked in most situations even if it was a fantasy.

Again the second type totally perfectly describes me as I am extremely submissive and I think that one of my primary kinks, or all of my kinks really seem to revolve around submission and humiliation.

I have lots of fantasies that involve not getting naked willingly but perhaps getting caught naked and exposed in front of a large number of dressed women or being the unexpected victim of being made the surprise center of attention at a CFNM party. Stuff along those lines. Again stuff that I would never willingly enter into but if they happened I would be extremely excited and the fact that I would be visibly aroused by these situations would also double the humiliation of being naked.

Then the more speculative form that it takes is a fantasy about a world where a virus renders a small percentage of men completely allergic to clothing forcing them to go around naked and I picture what I would do if I was afflicted with such a condition like that. I plan to write a full-blown novel about that one! Actually I did publish a CFNM novella (under a pseudonym) on a similar topic but I don’t know what the policy here is on advertising or promoting your own work so I won’t post it until I get an okay.

But I actually think that this would be a good idea to get some statistics. Maybe there is some way to post a poll asking which type of nude exhibitionist category each individual falls into as it would be interesting to see which one is really more common.

[Arthur]

Another thought along these lines is that being naked I felt was always a fundamentally submissive position but I think to a person who is confident being naked it can be a form of empowerment. But I think for most people, who are much more shy about their bodies or getting naked in public or in front of other people, being naked is sort of a disempowering thing. Clothing is like body armor that covers you up and make you blend into the crowd. If you are naked, particularly if you’re the only one naked, you are exposed with nothing to hide and you are vulnerable where anyone can see your body and touch it perhaps. As a person who also has a thing for tickling I think that goes quite well with nudity! But you stick out like a sore thumb (possibly red from blushing)and can’t hide from the stares of others.

I do remember reading an article online that they did a study and they found that the less clothing that people are wearing the more other people tended to not take them seriously as well and started objectifying and dehumanizing them and questioning their competency. So I think in the speculative scenario that I proposed above if a person was forced to be naked all the time they would become like some type of permanent underclass, constantly subject to ridicule and harassment and constantly in a state of submission to all those around them, which can be exciting in its own way I suppose!

Again I do think it has a lot to do with your attitude. If you are confident naked being naked can make you feel better about yourself, but for the majority of people who are not as confident about being seen naked, I think that having your clothing taken away is extremely embarrassing. But I also think that for the people around the naked person they might actually feel more confident because now the other person is that sort of a disadvantage.

In considering my speculative scenario above I always consider the irony that I am incredibly shy at the idea of being naked, specifically in public or anything like that, but also just shy around people in general such as being shy at the idea of asking a woman out or something like that. The irony of my scenario is that if a person saw me naked all the time, it might make them feel more confident about approaching me. Personally I think if a woman saw a guy naked and blushing and embarrassed she would probably feel more confident in being a little bit cocky and going up to him!

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[Ed]

We don’t have enough members yet to be anything like a viable statistical sample. But, in the longer term, it’s something I want to pursue.

I’m very cautious of promotional links but in this case, I’ll probably allow it. Can you private message me the link first and I’ll get back to you.

 

 

[Arthur]

“We don’t have enough members yet to be anything like a viable statistical sample. But, in the longer term, it’s something I want to pursue.”

True and since this website seems to be overwhelmingly dominated by men it might not produce an accurate representation overall. It would be interesting to do the survey as broken down by gender as well. It would be interesting to see if one sex seems to be more of the exhibitionist or confident and which one would be the shy awkward type that is more reluctant to get naked.

There might not be that much of a gender divide. I think maybe because society is much more accepting of the idea of naked women and because women are more sexualized that that might make more women to be exhibitionists although most traditional knowledge suggest that men are more confident and exhibitionist about being naked because women are still raised to be more “modest” so to speak and more ashamed and embarrassed about their bodies and women who are comfortable enough to be exhibitionists are sort of rebels in a sense.

But speaking as someone from the more shy side I am thinking that a man being naked in front of a woman, particularly when she is dressed and in a position of dominance or power, would probably be more intense than a naked woman being naked in front of a dressed or powerful man simply because it’s such a strong reversal of the sexual status quo.

As you are probably guessing from my posts here I really think a lot about the psychology behind nudity and the power relations behind that. I think that that is my strongest interest in regard to nudity, particularly one sided kinds.

“I’m very cautious of promotional links but in this case, I’ll probably allow it. Can you private message me the link first and I’ll get back to you.”

OK I will send you a private message. It is simply a link to my CFNM novella.

[fieldmill]

Arthur I think we are coming for a similar place, I too am new here but thought I would explain my ‘kink’ below to see if it fits with your thinking.

Your post really got me thinking about where my person kink around embarrassment came from. Mine is  directly linked to the feeling of embarrassment, but only that embarrassment due to ones nudity. Meaning being embarrassed by being made to perform on stage is just a horrible experience, while having to be naked in front of clothed women is both horrible abut also arousing. Interestingly this arousal also happens when seeing someone else’s discomfort with nudity, particularly, but no exclusively someone I care for. Hence my kink extends to both me and my partner being nude and embarrassed.
The final key to my kink is then the repeated reliving, and subsequent re-imagining, extension exaggeration of those situations experienced. Be that putting myself in the embarrassed persons shoes or by making the situation more extreme on the repeated retelling.

[Arthur]

Definitely the same in that regard. Being on stage can be embarrassing but it’s not a sexual embarrassment so the embarrassment and arousal only occurs in a naked situation. And like you I would probably feel embarrassed if I was around someone who is naked. I think the whole experience of nudity in general is uncomfortable for everyone involved. In fact I think I might even feel almost as uncomfortable around a naked woman if I was dressed as I would with the other way around. But I still think it would probably create more sexual tension to be the one naked because all the focus would be on you. At least she gets to keep herself nice and covered up!

In fact I have one specific fantasy that sort of addresses both of these issues. Basically I picture a situation where me and a woman are both stripped completely naked and we are in a public place and we know that we are going to be seen. There is only one pair of clothing available to cover up one of us, maybe just like a sheet or something like that which would cover up one of us completely but leave the other one completely naked. I desperately want to put that clothing on but then the woman looks at me blushing and saying “oh my God this is so humiliating, I’ll just die if anyone sees me!” and then I am forced, cringing, to let her take the only clothing and have to endure going around with her naked and being humiliated while she gets nice and covered up. JUst imagine how it would feeling watching her get dressed in the ONLY article of clothing.

[Ed]

In my experience, LOTS of people have that “kink” or variations upon it.

[Anonymous]

This discussion reminds me of naked dreams. This is interesting…  https://www.psychic2tarot.com/blog/spirituality/understanding-dreams-being-naked/

[Arthur]

I definitely have a fair amount of naked in public dreams and they are always exciting even though my dominant feeling is one of embarrassment and vulnerability.

Another question that I was recently thinking of in regards to this topic was what people would prefer to see. Do you find it more attractive to see a person who is confident about being naked or more attractive to see them visibly uncomfortable by the fact that you are seeing them naked? I definitely prefer the later.

I think seeing a person who doesn’t want to be strip to be stripped naked and exposed is much more exciting and I definitely know as an embarrassed person myself it would be far more exciting to be stripped naked against my will and forcibly displayed then it would be if I was confident being naked. As a big fan of nonmutual nudity I think that the real power dynamic can only exist if the person is truly uncomfortable being naked and exposed and that is what makes it exciting.

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[Anonymous]

I think for me there issues around power and safety. If someone is ultimately safe being naked and has the power to stop when they feel they’ve come to a boundary they can’t cross then all is well. I’ve played strip games on and off since I was a teenager and the feeling of being forced to strip is definitely exciting, as is the discomfort felt by other participants, but ultimately anybody can stop at any point. My wife plays along but never wants to go beyond being very briefly completely naked and everyone respects that because we’ve all known each other a long time. We did face an ethical issue once when a friend of a friend joined us. She was much younger than the rest of us and it did make me wonder how acceptable it was for older people to ask a much younger person to strip, but she fully joined in and said afterwards that she’d had a good time.

I don’t think I’m especially proud of this but I very much enjoyed being at Bournemouth Beach a couple of years ago when someone had obviously been dared to get changed very slowly. She wasn’t enjoying it at all but I still found it exciting. I told myself she could always have said no. Almost everyone else nearby either didn’t notice or pretended not to, and there were quite a few topless women around including a group of youngsters playing a ball game. I remember one of them had extremely red boobs. They looked painful and I’m sure they were the next day. I hope she got someone to rub aftersun lotion into them 🙂

Another thing this reminds me of is a conversation I had on here with @Susan a while back. I was bothered about hen parties that got out of control and coerced women into getting naked and beyond. She was saying (my interpretation) that there is a difference between participating in a theatrical performance, which is fabulous escapism, and being (socially) forced into a situation that you really don’t want to be in.

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[Martin]

Totally agree @profgreen – being naked and in control is very different to being naked and not in control.

As a theatrical performance (including film) the artist/performer usually does retain control. All the times I have been naked for film (including on a December Saturday at 8pm with a film crew and camera watching me strip off and run down Bournemouth Beach for a horror film…), I’ve always had the ability to say “stop” and know it will be respected.

Still great fun doing it though!

[Arthur]

“I think for me there issues around power and safety. If someone is ultimately safe being naked and has the power to stop when they feel they’ve come to a boundary they can’t cross then all is well. I’ve played strip games on and off since I was a teenager and the feeling of being forced to strip is definitely exciting, as is the discomfort felt by other participants, but ultimately anybody can stop at any point. My wife plays along but never wants to go beyond being very briefly completely naked and everyone respects that because we’ve all known each other a long time. We did face an ethical issue once when a friend of a friend joined us. She was much younger than the rest of us and it did make me wonder how acceptable it was for older people to ask a much younger person to strip, but she fully joined in and said afterwards that she’d had a good time.”

I think that is actually a pretty good point. I think there is a difference between being naked when you might not want to and actively being coerced. I think as long as everyone is feeling safe and willingly participating everything is all right. I think there is a difference between being coerced and being obligated to be naked. Like if you are playing a strip game you might feel very uncomfortable at the idea of being naked but you agreed to play so the idea that you feel like you are obligated to live up to the agreement and get naked is what makes it exciting. You may feel incredibly uncomfortable with the fact that you lost and now have to be the one naked, but it is still technically consensual and that is what is important.

“I don’t think I’m especially proud of this but I very much enjoyed being at Bournemouth Beach a couple of years ago when someone had obviously been dared to get changed very slowly. She wasn’t enjoying it at all but I still found it exciting. I told myself she could always have said no. Almost everyone else nearby either didn’t notice or pretended not to, and there were quite a few topless women around including a group of youngsters playing a ball game. I remember one of them had extremely red boobs. They looked painful and I’m sure they were the next day. I hope she got someone to rub aftersun lotion into them ”

I think that this is one thing that we have to acknowledge, we can’t control what turns us on. We may think something is wrong but we still can’t help being turned on by it. If I saw a woman naked and humiliated I would have to admit that I would feel bad for her, but at the same time I couldn’t deny that I would find the whole experience incredibly exciting. At the same time though I would probably find the situation just as embarrassing for me as it is for her because it would be awkward being in a situation where someone is naked when they don’t want to be and I would feel like I would want to help her or even offer her my own clothing.

Of course it would be much more fun to be the one being forced to be stripped naked. I have to admit that when I see ENF (embarrassed nude female situations) much of the time I find myself fantasizing that I was the naked female. I like the idea of being the naked one more than the one observing the nudity.

Like I had just said elsewhere in a similar forum I guess it’s for the same reason that I would probably feel uncomfortable with others being naked just as much as I would feel being naked myself. For example if a beautiful naked woman approached me while I was dressed I would probably be incredibly embarrassed seeing her in a state like that and it would be exciting but I still feel like she would be in control of the situation, particularly if she was comfortable about her naked body because she would be controlling my biological reactions simply by being naked in front of me (i.e. causing erections etc.). Something about seeing the fact that she is comfortable with her nudity while I am uncomfortable with it sort of puts her in a position of power.

Still given that choice or being the one naked myself I would always choose being naked myself. Although I enjoy looking at the naked female form, I feel like I would be really uncomfortable being in a strip club because I don’t like that feeling of being in a position of power over women like that. If given the choice between seeing a bunch of really attractive women naked or being naked in front of a group of really attractive women I think that being naked in front of them would probably be much more exciting because not only would you have a desire to see them naked, you would be in the exact opposite position which would make it feel even more disempowering and make them seem like they were even more powerful.

Actually I have a personal fantasy that I always thought was kind of a sweet thing that I originally turned into a story just a few days ago, fictional of course. The idea was this man and woman are stripped naked by some mean classmates of theirs during a beach trip and the two of them are stuck naked together and it’s extremely awkward and embarrassing for them. They know that their classmates are going to come and see them naked if they don’t do something and then they find one single pair of clothing and even though the guy knows he is going to end up being humiliated he gives it to the naked woman so that she can cover herself up.

She of course feels really indebted to him by that but she also can’t help enjoying the fact that he is being humiliated even though he is doing it for her sake. Something about that just seems like it’s kind of like a sweet thing, where the person has sacrificed for you and put themselves into a humiliating situation, and yet you are still getting off on it. You can’t control the fact that you feel that way but it can be a nice feeling for both parties concerned.

In such a situation like that I would like to think that I would sacrifice the clothing and give it to the woman but the reality of it might be far more frightening. I guess it depended on how confident she felt about her own nudity. In my story they were both awkward individuals who felt incredibly embarrassed being naked and they even spent the entire time they were searching for clothing with their backs towards each other so that they wouldn’t see each other naked!

“Another thing this reminds me of is a conversation I had on here with @susan a while back. I was bothered about hen parties that got out of control and coerced women into getting naked and beyond. She was saying (my interpretation) that there is a difference between participating in a theatrical performance, which is fabulous escapism, and being (socially) forced into a situation that you really don’t want to be in.”

I think this is another good point. The whole idea of something like a hen party is that women get to see men naked without any obligation to be naked themselves and if I were a performer at such a thing like that I wouldn’t ever try to coerce the women into being naked. The whole idea, the whole excitement of the situation, is the fact that they get to see you in an embarrassing situation but they get to keep their clothing on!

Again though this is a situation where you can’t help how you feel if you are in a situation like that. There are plenty of situations where I would never willingly get naked of my own free will but if I found myself coerced into them against my will, while I would be angry, I couldn’t deny that I would also find the humiliation aspect of it to be extremely exciting and arousing. For example a big fantasy would always to be stripped naked in public in front of a large group of dressed women. I would never willingly do something so public like that, but if I was stripped naked by a group of women in public like that, while I would be angry, I couldn’t deny that it would still probably be the most exhilarating experience of my life.

• This reply was modified 5 years, 10 months ago by Arthur.

[Anonymous]

Arthur wrote: “Of course it would be much more fun to be the one being forced to be stripped naked. I have to admit that when I see ENF (embarrassed nude female situations) much of the time I find myself fantasizing that I was the naked female. I like the idea of being the naked one more than the one observing the nudity.” — I know exactly what you mean Arthur @shynudedude83

[Susan]

Two good descriptions Ed.   I’m definitely a #1.    😉

I just have fun with being seen nude or near-nude at appropriate times and places.   Or when feeling naughty, maybe even surprising and shocking people a little when I know they won’t actually be offended.   I never want to truly offend anyone.   ‘Just want to give a little excitement and pleasure.   It that wicked?

[Anonymous]

It’s wicked in a good way @susan. I think it’s different for men unfortunately. I open the curtains in the morning when I’m naked. There’s very rarely anybody walking past. If anyone noticed, they might think I was a bit odd but they wouldn’t think I was being wicked.

[Susan]

Ha!   If I knew where you lived I’d say, “What time do you get up in the mornings?”  😉   I’d be on the street watching your window!

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[Arthur]

People would rather see an attractive woman naked than a man naked at any rate. I wouldn’t mind being checked out naked by a woman but I would still be pretty embarrassed, especially when she is extremely self-confident about her own nudity. There’s something sexy about a person like that who doesn’t feel any inhibitions, perhaps because I very inhibited myself.

[Susan]

Well Arthur, maybe joining N.E. and chatting with other people interested in nudity will help you overcome some of those inhibitions.

I have inhibitions about a lot of things but being seen naked is not one of them.   Because of my parents attitudes and the encouragements I had when young, I learned self-confidence and can’t recall if I ever had any inhibitions about my body.

[Anonymous]

My upbringing has given me the confidence to be naked. I think aspects of my childhood were borderline weird though. My mum was an exhibitionist. My sister, not me, started us playing strip games. We were sometimes kept naked after a bath as a punishment. On a happier note, the house behind ours was rented out to students and one of the women there was much more of an exhibitionist than my mum ever was. She used to let her boyfriend strip her naked with the curtains open. Because of the angles, I could never see below her waist – I don’t know if she knew that though. Oddly he always used to wear a towel around his neck. It;s strange what we remember from long ago!

[Arthur]

“Well Arthur, maybe joining N.E. and chatting with other people interested in nudity will help you overcome some of those inhibitions.

I have inhibitions about a lot of things but being seen naked is not one of them. Because of my parents attitudes and the encouragements I had when young, I learned self-confidence and can’t recall if I ever had any inhibitions about my body.”

“My upbringing has given me the confidence to be naked. I think aspects of my childhood were borderline weird though. My mum was an exhibitionist. My sister, not me, started us playing strip games. We were sometimes kept naked after a bath as a punishment. On a happier note, the house behind ours was rented out to students and one of the women there was much more of an exhibitionist than my mum ever was. She used to let her boyfriend strip her naked with the curtains open. Because of the angles, I could never see below her waist – I don’t know if she knew that though. Oddly he always used to wear a towel around his neck. It;s strange what we remember from long ago!”

Actually interesting you should mention that. When I was younger I used to be really open about being naked and everything like that but as I grew older I grew into a very deeply inhibited person and I think that I’m just uncomfortable in most sexual situations altogether, probably why I’m a 35 year old virgin.

It could do with the fact that I grew up in a really conservative family for the most part who didn’t really show any type of physical or romantic/sexual affection and they certainly would not get naked in front of anyone so I must have developed that attitude despite my liberal attitude towards everything in general.

You can control how you think that you can’t really control how you feel about certain things is what I think the matter is. You both grew up comfortable around nudity so you had no such inhibitions. But then I also have gender issues which I think also made me a bit sexually inhibited. And I am just a very shy and reserved person in general.

I actually don’t mind my inhibitions though because I think that has resulted in me having this sort of humiliation kink and I find it really exciting at the idea of having someone poke fun at my inhibitions and sort of try to force me out of them. If I was comfortable with my body and myself being seen naked by a group of dressed people wouldn’t really have any buzz to it and wouldn’t be exciting or exhilarating. So thanks to my extreme inhibitions if I ever do find a sexual partner she will have a great amount of fun making me feel awkward and uncomfortable and embarrassed and hopefully really enjoying seeing that!

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